My morning routine during the week is fairly standard. I’m up early to beat the morning traffic then I hit the gym to pretend to exercise before I go to work. My time at the gym is mainly spent on the treadmill. Not because I’m a running junky, far from it, but simply because the treadmills have TV screens. It sounds lazy, I know, but this allows me to catch up on the news as I exercise. A stroke of genius, I keep telling myself. Who can resist a healthy and knowledgeable guy? My reason for writing this article stems from my watching the news in the gym on one fateful morning.
Fade to a chilly winter morning about six months ago. As I ran on the treadmill, an interesting story came up where scientists were now able to create sperms cells using skin cells. I immediately fell off my treadmill! Shock and horror! In the article they heralded this as fertility treatment for men who would have survived cancer and chemotherapy that would render them sterile. Now, they could still have children thus changing the lives of hundreds of thousands of families. After hearing this you must be at a loss as to why I fell off the treadmill. Allow me to explain. This is a good sounding tale, but I wasn’t buying what they were selling.
As many men were excited about this, I could see the reality behind the smoke screen. The wood for the trees, so to speak. This was the beginning of the end. Our slow…very slow Armageddon. In order to understand my logic, we must go back to pre-historic times. When humanity started, men were valuable. Initially, our value was because of our superior strength, we could and would protect our women and provide for them. Women needed us. Then things progressed. Some form of economics developed and whether the currency was in the form of sea shells or rocks, it was economics. There with it, came the sale of weapons which could mitigate the perils of physical weakness. But, we were still on top of this because men controlled the economics and the purchase of weapons etc. Therefore, women still needed us.
This persisted until the early 20th century when women now began to take part in economics. Slowly but surely, men’s value as protectors and providers started to lose its shine. A woman could simply hire her own bodyguards or buy her own gun. All was not lost though because as we began to lose our prehistoric and economic advantages, we still had a benefit that they did not. We had the means to pleasure our women through our God-given phalluses. Our saving grace! In essence, women still needed us.
But then, the hedonistic world of sexual depravity reared its ugly head and commercially women could now buy manufactured penises. Some which would make any man feel inadequate. Moreover, the women now had the choice to have several of these “objects” and hence satisfy numerous fantasises, without us. But wait! No matter how these were made, women could not sire children without us. No matter what they tried to do, they needed men to sire children. Therefore, women still needed us.
I’m sure by now you can see where I’m going with this because this news story hit me where it hurts (literally). In no time, this will go commercial and all women will need to do is go for skin grafting and boom, she’s pregnant…by herself! If evolution is anything to go by, the uselessness and redundancy of the Y chromosome won’t be hard to pick up and after Lord-knows-how-many years, production of it will cease entirely and poof…no more men. We will become extinct. Oh…I can see the last days, when unshaved and unkempt men are staring from within cages in zoos at women as they walk around and take pictures. We won’t be able to talk now because no one would have talked to us in thousands of years so our grunts will seem to them to be proof of our animalistic and pre historic nature. I can even hear the conversations.
“These are called “men”. Yes, just “men”. They used to be better than us, and then we were equal. Then…well…here they are.”
Dark days indeed! I know my conclusion may seem a little farfetched but isn’t that the course of evolution? My hope is that in the future, women may discover this article and then they will know that men once had ideas and thoughts and perhaps I could be the Mayan who predicted the very distant future.
Garikai M. Nhongo
Garikai is the Thinking Entrepreneur. He has interests in Advertising, Media and consultancy in East & Southern Africa. He is a published poet with 2 books of poetry available worldwide. Visions of My Heart: 101 Tales Tales Told in Verse and Words on My Canvas. He has a poetry blog and he is also a speaker and a trainer. Talk to him by email or social media below.